and I think to myself

when I drink my first coffee around 2 p.m., I open my eyes and I see August in its bloom. I see how it settles low, already slightly tired, swollen, more and more quiet. what is disappointment and grief inside of me, hides in deep shadow, only single sad reflections remain on the surface of consciousness. and I'm puzzled by the quality of this world, or maybe life: austerity combined with abundance. yin yang. mystery.
I think about the beautiful face of my mother. and I think about how I've easily fallen in love with women recently. how I suddenly felt the need to have lasting relationships, how I've grown out of my deep eternal family home and am quite desperately looking for a new micro-world. how naïve I can get when I let myself fall for women only because there's a shade of hope for the settlement. even if the lack of chances gives me in my face.
for a while, I manage to think about it all without bitterness or blown up sentiments. I stick to it because serenity is fine and it is advisable.
on the soundproof screens along the highway there is a gigantic sun painted with a blue word WIR underneath. a most desired word, everybody wants to be a part of it. at least I do.