2013/07/21
melancholic toast, here's to you.
the sudden absence of my friends in my apartment has put me back in my usual comfort and depression.
feeling so sorry
tried too hard, wanted so badly
still hoped they would understand.
there's no way they could realize what was happening, though.
'are you sad? are you tired?'
I can't help that I just don't know how to handle simple, good moments.
she knocked a glass of red wine. she didn't quite understand when I said I was glad she'd done it.
feeling so sorry
tried too hard, wanted so badly
still hoped they would understand.
there's no way they could realize what was happening, though.
'are you sad? are you tired?'
I can't help that I just don't know how to handle simple, good moments.
she knocked a glass of red wine. she didn't quite understand when I said I was glad she'd done it.
2013/07/19
your gender will get ya
I went to cinema called "Femina". it is sponsored mainly by a producer of diet pills. to get to the cinema hall, you need to go through an alley of huge posters with scales and female bodies tied with measuring tapes. and before they screen the movie, you need to watch a couple of commercials in which women tell their dramatic stories of liberating themselves from their appetite.
how sad is that.
I guess I'll choose the "Luna" cinema next time. seems gender-bias-free enough.
how sad is that.
I guess I'll choose the "Luna" cinema next time. seems gender-bias-free enough.
2013/07/13
plenty
today I saw a cow with long-lashed eyes brushing a tree bark with her lips. I thought it very romantic.
around noon we were picking blueberries; branches heavy with the fruit. looked like the most abundant victory of life over non-existence.
at 10 pm, after three bottles of wine emptied, I said I felt like eating pancakes with powdered sugar. so my dad and I went to the kitchen and while he was mixing the batter, I heard him muttering to himself:
whatever you dream of
multiply threefold
around noon we were picking blueberries; branches heavy with the fruit. looked like the most abundant victory of life over non-existence.
at 10 pm, after three bottles of wine emptied, I said I felt like eating pancakes with powdered sugar. so my dad and I went to the kitchen and while he was mixing the batter, I heard him muttering to himself:
whatever you dream of
multiply threefold
2013/07/10
streetcar at 5:40
today I saw Warsaw in summertime before 6 am
she looked magnificent
as if she thought no-one was watching
she looked magnificent
as if she thought no-one was watching
2013/07/09
there is a heart under this badge
our line managers are away on holiday leave, so we played some music in our open space
a forbidden thing in the communist kingdom of corporation
we were listening mostly to Eric Clapton
it was humanizing
2013/07/07
'I have arrived.'
funny
to wake up in the morning, write down that life is a scary thing and then have an absolutely perfect day.
my face and neck are suntanned, my camera is full of sunny photos, my mind is calm.
we left early in the morning. we sat in the sun, we ate soup from small bowls and we listened to piano, double bass and percussion trio that was working with silence like a well improvised meditation. the pianist had curly hair, white creased shirt and a warm, tanned face. and he absolutely loved what he was doing.
and now I have a keepsake, a bunch of dried lavender on the kitchen window sill.
in the evening J. got back and told me to get ready for some awesome party we were going to in a couple of weeks. and I felt a shadow on my heart, because I understood that today was over and new plans and moments are waiting in their impatient queue.
gone too fast to love this day enough.
too quickly to make sure I've remembered it well.
to wake up in the morning, write down that life is a scary thing and then have an absolutely perfect day.
my face and neck are suntanned, my camera is full of sunny photos, my mind is calm.
we left early in the morning. we sat in the sun, we ate soup from small bowls and we listened to piano, double bass and percussion trio that was working with silence like a well improvised meditation. the pianist had curly hair, white creased shirt and a warm, tanned face. and he absolutely loved what he was doing.
and now I have a keepsake, a bunch of dried lavender on the kitchen window sill.
in the evening J. got back and told me to get ready for some awesome party we were going to in a couple of weeks. and I felt a shadow on my heart, because I understood that today was over and new plans and moments are waiting in their impatient queue.
gone too fast to love this day enough.
too quickly to make sure I've remembered it well.
2013/07/06
broken chain link
earlier this week I found myself crying at the blood test point as I was watching a young woman with a little baby and her gray-haired father who assisted her with the baby food.
I was crying not because I will never have a husband and a baby and all these experiences I would share with my parents as grandparents.
I was crying because I don't want a life like that.
wanting it would make it all way easier.
I was crying not because I will never have a husband and a baby and all these experiences I would share with my parents as grandparents.
I was crying because I don't want a life like that.
wanting it would make it all way easier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
