light blue

glass marbles
You've thrown them all over the place
now You're picking them
one by one
one by
one
till I breathe again

Unser Lieben Frauen

chalk
texture
plaster
bread
mycelium
core
soil
pulp
sediment
origin
fabric
matter
splinter

cause I don't speak German

So now I know what it's like when you sit down at the canteen with your awful food and your mate, after a moment of consideration, chooses to pass your table and to go and sit with somebody else, and it's all right after you forgot to pay for your meal and the cashier is chasing you across the canteen, demanding her money. The same evening you're sitting with a bunch of beautiful & funny people, but you just happen not to speak their language, neither can you drink their wine cause you take your antidepressants, so you're just watching them and trying to guess what was the joke that made them laugh their heads off. So you go to your room to cry your heart out and you call someone you love, but she talks to you as if you were a stranger cause she happens to be in somebody's someone's company, so you take your pills and finally fall asleep. You're dreaming that you play in a movie with Meryl Streep and that both of you are being thrown with shit at. You're waken up by your mate's call and you hear her asking why aren't you at the Stadtamt and you realize that you mixed the hours up and so you run to the place but since you're foreign here you run the wrong way, then you finally reach the Stadtamt, you sit down but you're so fucked up that you don't understand any of the clerk's word, so you leave totally embarrassed. You go out to the chilly morning, dreaming of a cup of hot sweet cocoa in some nice café but it looks like nobody feels like going with you so you just drag along to your home and wash the dishes after the party of those who had great time yesterday while you were having some strange illusions in the next room.
Yes, now I know what it's all like.

uspavanka

See my smile I can hear your voice
coming from another room
in another land in a house
in a corner of my heart

I don't know what to put in my head, in my hands. a whirlwind of water and wind; dark, cold. I don't want anything else, not anybody else. only Her.

the open music box plays a lullaby. it's so small, I can take it, I can accept it. may it be the size of a drop, of a snowflake, may it close in a small casket and may it not hurt, not fester.

I don't know what it's all about any more.
is it about the distance between us or is it about all that's happened to You and me.