definitely definitely no logic/but yet so yet so irresistible

So there we were, seven of us, from different corners of Poland – Konin, Radom, Żywiec, Bielsko-Biała, Lubaczów, Toruń, Płock... – and everything that happened between us, over the vodka shots, was actually very enjoyable and funny. But today, with the sober morning light, somewhat scary as well. 'Cause there was J., who's too embarrassed to confess it's a Cameroonian that she's in a relationship with; there was G., whose gay identity was already accepted by most of us some time ago, and yet he struggles in quite an absurd way to ease this shameful state of affairs, praising women's legs and claiming that men with powdered faces really do evoke aggression in himself [my angry look told him what I thought about it, so he got me some more vodka with an apologizing phrase on his lips]; then there are M. and A. and their sudden friendship that grew on the disgraceful foundations of gossiping about G. as "the warm guy" and excluding me as the lesbian from the world of the living ones; then there's R., who seems too slow to know what's going on at all, and finally my flatmate A., the saint mediator, who won't let the whole ferment turn into some disagreeable situation, so each time in troublesome points she'll say most weird stuff, like praising G., the host, for having cleaned up the place so neatly. Deep in her heart, she regrets that W. is not here tonight; he's in a relationship with O., true, but then everybody wonders what the hell he sees in this girl.
Yesterday I took it with all its obligations typical of interpersonal relationships. After all, it was really nice, even hilarious, when J. told her stories of her ever lying flatmate or of the tickets the police gave her back in Germany, or when we were going home with the night bus and we were so surprised to see the same police car going along all the way through Żoliborz, to which J. kept on asking me with her Cameroon accent whether I had the déjà vu thing. But today, with the hangover, but my mind clear, I'm kind of terrified [at least disgusted] by it all and I'm recalling my Russian teacher, who says that nowadays more and more often she just wants to stay at home. Alone. Because if there's something I really like about myself, then it's that I have positively no problems looking at myself in the mirror when there are only two of us, me and I.