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hands and feet tied with fear and then an outburst of crying and yearning again. monthly blood, too much food, broken sleep and my make-up, which I put on and wash off, and put on, and wash off. tension in my temple. my body. a cramp. and then yearning again. and starting once more with a new paragraph, take a breath and do it, don't look too far 'cause it will make you frightened, only a bit ahead, just not to panic. fever and everything I don't know. lack of help as a fact. and those people, so frightening. so frightening. a feeling that if I wake up once again in the same way, go through the gate once again and get into the tram and then sort those little activities like beans in a bottomless bowl -- I'll explode. yes. I'm off my nut. Mother, come and get me out of here.