it's winter and the suns, the oranges, have not risen. that's how I feel with my 37,4 degrees.
I was so worried about my lack of money for what I'd planned that I've fallen ill. it's kinda sad when there's no point going to see the doctor as you won't be able to buy the medicines anyway. oh, well.
B. is going to take part in a casting for extras. she wants me to go with her. I asked her, but what am I going to wear? and then she went, you know, I'll wear my homeless style outfit and you'll weare your gay club one.
my flat mate has come back from her monthly journey. she's not really in a hurry to find a job. do I envy her? no. I'm just enjoying the image of her.
"Mars" is a beautiful movie. I'd like to keep the whole script in my head. just like I want to keep some poems forever by learning them by heart. to make them a part of myself. hoping they will change the thoughts coming to my mind.
"so many people, yet so few thoughts". ("Mars")
the feeling I'm losing a friend of mine got me worried for quite a while. till I finally realized that it might be yet another relationship of which I thought more than it actually was. my mind is a famous illusionist. but then it's all because it's too sad to be alone in this world.
when A. came for lunch to my place a few days ago, she said it scared her that soon she would have to become responsible for herself. back then I thought it sounded ridiculous and bizarre. now it's ridiculous and bizarre to find out I feel just the same.
I'm tired. oh, well.
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