associations?
to me, last summer, when I had a lover and I knew that sensuality could bring me to her place and I might not want to go home.
Herta Müller:
And I received summons. They wanted to humiliate me. Often. I began to carry a small towel, toothbrush and a toothpaste in my bag. The interrogator called me a piece of shit, junk, a parasite, a bitch. This was when he was furious. When his mood was better, I was a whore or an enemy. When I only took his office time, I was a slut.
***
Because writing is opposite to living. When I write, I do not exist in a sense. As a person I cannot be occupied with myself. Usually, I don't work on a book too long, because I can't stand the tension. When writing, I have to find myself where I'm most hurt inside, otherwise I wouldn't have to write at all.
It's like walking a knife blade, in between disclosure and preserving the secret.
H.M.
[translations mine]
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