Blue Is the Warmest Color

I know what they say. That shooting those scenes was humiliating and gruelling for the actresses. That  the director is a madman.

But it’s a masterpiece to me.

Feels llike I’ve been where Adèle’s been. When she’s excluded by her age group members. When she’s sitting with Emma on the park bench in the afternoon sunlight, excited and shy at the same time. When she's told that she evokes endless tenderness, but cannot be loved – I understand this. I feel this. I can still recall this.

I’m only dreaming about one additional story. I know how Adèle felt about Emma. Cause some time ago I experienced my Emma too. But I would like to know, for once, how Emma felt about Adèle. If it was real. Could it last. What could make it happen.

I texted my Mom that this movie is a must for her. Initially, I wanted to add that Adèle is me, but then I figured she might think I’m bisexual and I don’t want her to settle with the compromise option. Perhaps after the eight-minute sex scene she might finally work it out.

blocks of ice

New Year has the colors of a Scandinavian detective movie: massive block built back in the 50s under the pale gray sky, empty windows, silence. I can’t hear the gulls scream through the closed windows. Yesterday when I woke up at 6 am, the fog was so thick that all I could see was the bright head of the street lamp. And then later at night, while I was drinking cider I could hear a dog whimpering with fear of fireworks. Now the soft white bodies that have flown from the river are circling peacefully between the blocks. The war is over now. The most solitary night of year is over.